"To truly comprehend the essence of Heroic Path to Light, one must journey back to my past. Growing up in an abusive household, paired with my service in the Marine Corps from 2001 to 2005, particularly my second deployment to Iraq in 2004, cast me into profound darkness upon my return home. A part of me died in the Middle East, a death I couldn't fathom for years.  

Upon my honorable discharge in the spring of 2005, I returned to Texas, my home state, battling a myriad of unseen scars: mTBI, PTSD, anxiety, depression, moral injury, and survivor’s guilt. These were the unseen medals from my four years fighting the War on Terror.

That same year, I moved to New York City, seeking solace in an opiate fog to dull the relentless internal agony. But the greatest battle lay ahead. Struggling to find work, my funds dwindled, leading me to homelessness begging for hope on street corners, and eventually, a veterans' halfway house in Long Island. Those twelve months were dominated by a profound desire for oblivion.

My next seven years were spent in the whirlwind of Wall Street, a pace that mirrored my fear of stillness, for stillness meant facing death. Pharmaceuticals became my crutch - antidepressants, stimulants, sedatives, sleep aids - a cocktail as destructive as it was necessary until it became intolerable.

Even as PTSD, depression, and anxiety held sway, I joined the Austin Fire Department in October 2017. Initially, the camaraderie and purpose were comforting, but it was a fleeting solace.

2018 brought a divorce, financial strain, and limited time with my children due to my firefighter duties. Desperation crept in as I struggled to provide for my family, feeling isolated, trapped, and like a failure to those who depended on me. My trauma found fertile ground in this solitude.

However, late 2018 marked a turning point. A failed suicide attempt while at my fire station, miraculously thwarted by an unknown savior, led me to "How to Change Your Mind" by Michael Pollan. This book propelled me into a journey of self-discovery and healing. Desperate for change, I turned to the ancient wisdom of the Psilocybe Cubensis aka Magic Mushrooms.

For two years, I explored this sacred medicine in secrecy, documenting its transformative effects on my mind, body, and spirit. These profound experiences reshaped my life: lost memories returned, anger dissipated, self-love and empathy bloomed. My suicidal thoughts ceased; peace replaced turmoil.

Even as an Austin Firefighter, amidst the backdrop of tragedies - mass shootings, the Austin serial bomber, overdoses, and fatal accidents - I sensed the darkness encroaching again. By February 2022, recognizing a newfound purpose, I left the Fire Department to establish Heroic Path to Light.

This nonprofit was born from a vision to end the suffering of Veterans, First Responders, Gold/White Star Families, and Frontline workers through community building and sacred entheogenic ceremonies. After losing fifteen friends to suicide since 2005, my resolve was clear: if this mission could save even one life, it was worth every effort.

Now, as the Founder and President of Heroic Path to Light, my journey continues. I extend an invitation to you, wherever you are in your journey, to join this community of healing and resilience. Together, we can navigate through any darkness."

​

—Justin LaPree